By Womaness Editors 2-Minute Read
More and more these days, it’s feeling easier to discuss how to find everyday relief for the symptoms of menopause we can see and feel—think drier skin, thinning hair, night sweats. And that’s a seriously positive thing. But what about the, gulp, emotional effects of aging? Changes to your physical appearance, brain fog and memory issues, the anxiety of not knowing when a hot flash may happen…let’s be real: these can lead to confidence and self-esteem issues at an age when you know you’re otherwise at your best.
But the good news? You’re not alone. Here’s how some of our favorite experts deal with the challenge of confidence in menopause.
“Believing in yourself will determine how you carry yourself”
“When I did television new, I wore Spanx because the camera automatically puts weight on you, so I learned the importance of good, comfortable shapewear. Sometimes it can be a really big help.
Aside from that, I personally like to go deeper. There are a couple of things that can really serve us well. Number one is self-confidence. Believing in yourself will determine how you carry yourself. A woman who carries herself with confidence, poise, and a sense of 'I believe in me and I'm proud of me' will stand taller, automatically look leaner and better, and will carry herself with an air of dignity. That, to me, is so, so important.
One thing we forget about, too, is that we are so technology-driven that we're constantly hunched over our computers and phones. Posture, to me, is key. Yoga has completely changed my life when it comes to getting my body in better alignment and to being more upright.
I think those things really take it way further than Spanx will! Not to dis Spanx—they're great—but these are really things that make a difference.”
— Dominique Sachse, author, YouTuber, & former news anchor
“Nothing can build that confidence like getting physically stronger.”
“Let me tell you, nothing can build that confidence like getting physically stronger.
And it can really translate outside of the gym. It's not just like, ‘Now I can carry my groceries,’ but you begin to believe you can do all kinds of things. The fact that I'm sitting here having this conversation, the fact that I have a business—this all stemmed from me getting stronger in the gym.
I never considered myself a strong person. I actually felt quite weak most of my life, and it wasn't until I saw myself week after week going into the gym and lifting more, and doing things I didn't know I could do, that I realized I'm a strong person. I'm a strong person here, too. It's life-changing when you can see what your body is capable of.”
— Kim Schlag, personal trainer & Womaness Fitness Expert
“The way I feel the most confident is being truly authentically myself wherever I go.”
“My tricks and tips for keeping my confidence up and making myself feel better? I would say surrounding myself with incredible people, incredible women. Being open, being honest. Therapy.
Also? Moving my body a lot. Because this is one thing about sex drive…a lot of it is a blood flow thing. So if we're not moving our body, we're not healthy. When we do things that don't make us feel so great, it's hard to stay healthy. So: move your body!
Communication is also key. The top advice I give people is ‘communication is a lubrication.’ The more we talk about sex with our partners or with our friends or anyone, we normalize that conversation.
For example, when I talk to all my friends, I’ll say, ‘Do you have any symptoms of menopause or perimenopause?’ They might say, ‘Well, I haven't really had any yet.’ And then once we start talking about it—'Do you have hot flashes? Do you have night sweats?’—sure enough, people do have symptoms. Since we don't talk enough about it, I try to get people to normalize it. Because for me, the way I feel the most confident is being truly authentically myself wherever I go. I’ll say, ‘I'm going to a menopause event tomorrow, do you want to come?’ I just put it out there in the world. And there I go.”
— Dr. Emily Morse, Author, podcast host & Womaness Sexual Health Expert
“I changed my concept of what I thought was beautiful.”
“I was happily married for a long time. I had a baby. All the checkoffs you're supposed to do. Then I went for my mammogram after three years of missing it and I was diagnosed with stage three breast cancer (lesson: go for your mammograms!). It was estrogen driven, so I have to take hormone blockers. And it does affect you. It affects your sleep; it affects your skin. I had chemo for 18 and a half weeks and then radiation. I wore a cold cap where it freezes your hair follicles, but I still lost my hair.
I was on camera on a show in Minnesota as a beauty expert. I had no hair, no eyebrows, no eyelashes. I was green, and I lost 17 pounds in maybe a month and a half. I wasn't very pretty.
So I changed my concept of what I thought was beautiful. I really used to think it was about the right lipstick color, the right blush, or what you were wearing that would make you beautiful. And then when it all was stripped away from me, I realized that that really isn't what beauty is about.
That's why I got involved with a company like Womaness because it's by women for women and it's to make us feel better. And it's also to let everyone know it's part of human nature. My son is 25 and his girlfriend's 23, and I want Audrey to know that when she gets to menopause, it's part of who we are as women. We should be proud of it.”
— Kym Douglas, TV host, pro-aging leader, & Womaness Beauty Expert
"Fake it till you make it."
“One piece of advice I've gotten through the years is 'fake it till you make it.' You walk in a room acting like you're the most beautiful woman in the room, you're the smartest woman in the room, you're the most successful woman in the room…and people will view you that way. That is the best piece of advice I've ever been given, and it is that level of confidence that really makes all the difference. It sounds so trite but it's true.
If you feel good about yourself, you feel good—and all these other things come along with it. We hear it from so many women we talk to…they just want to feel better. So yes, we have all these products at Womaness, but it is also about understanding what's going on with your body, understanding the research around menopause, and understanding that the things you're going through are normal. There's a confidence that can come in knowing there are the things out there that could help, whether it's taking care of your skin or taking care of your sexuality. But it also has to come from the inside. And if I've learned anything over the last two years, it’s that.”
— Michelle Jacobs, Womaness Co-founder
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