By Christina Langdon 4-Minute Read
Christina Langon is the author of For Success Sake! Simply Steps for Extraordinary Possibility in Leadership and Life and a success coach to high achievers who want to reimagine success. Her weekly newsletter, Sunday Sunshine, banishes the Sunday "scaries" ahead of the work week.
Women in midlife have hit many of life’s milestones, becoming college graduates, rising leaders, wives, moms, and, in some cases, caretakers for our own moms.
Having experienced some of life’s most important rituals, women in midlife can hit a gap that shows up in losing sight of what’s next and asking: Is this all there is?
This is a plague on our purpose.
I’ve done the work to fill my gap with new rituals that are grounded in a new awareness around who I want to become in my next “best” chapter.
After 30 years of climbing the corporate ladder, I looked perfect on paper—but was perfectly miserable. I had lost sight of my purpose and what made me feel good about myself. I knew I wanted something more and different.
My body was changing. I was resisting it as much as I was resisting doing the work on myself to reconnect with myself and my purpose. All day long, I was getting hung up on my career and raising my three kids, and it felt like I was on a hamster wheel to nowhere.
“When you slow down long enough to know yourself, align with your soul, and set intentions for what you really want, magic happens.”
I decided that midlife wasn’t going to define me. Instead, I created a new definition which I affectionately call My Prime Time. When you slow down long enough to know yourself, align with your soul, and set intentions for what you really want, magic happens.
I stopped blaming my body for the changes and blaming others for my misery. I decided it was up to me to own and rewrite my prime-time chapter.
Who do I become in my prime time? That’s the question myself and others struggle to answer in midlife.
Here are seven questions from my book For Success Sake! Simple Steps to Extraordinary Success in Leadership and Life that act as prompts to help you reconnect with yourself—and all you’ve created so far—to inspire you answer who you want to become in your prime time. And with your answers to what I call the “story of your 10s,” you can begin writing your next chapter.
The 10s Exercise
This exercise helps you look back to look forward with a deeper awareness of your story—the one only you can tell! The questions are puzzle pieces, and your answers are connection points to understanding what you want more of in your prime time.
1. What are the 10 biggest surprises in your life?
2. What are the 10 roughest times in your life, and how did you handle them?
3. What are the 10 moments of joy: this month, this year, in your life?
4. What are the 10 experiences in your life you would do over again if given the chance?
5. What are the 10 things you’ve learned this past year?
6. What are the 10 opportunities you’ve created in your life?
7. What are then 10 things you are most grateful for?
Perimenopause and menopause are not a time to pause. This is my, your, our prime time. The time to learn, grow, and take care of ourselves to live without age restrictions and with more opportunity, meaning, and fulfillment.
Here are four steps I’ve taken along the way.
Embrace lifelong learning
Returning to education can be a powerful way to reconnect with yourself. Make a list of the subjects that interest you and consider re-engaging with them. Personally, I’m going back to school and learning about health and wellness to create new rituals for myself. As author Chip Conley suggests in his book "Learning to Love Midlife," learning is the fountain of youth! I'm drinking from the learning fountain.
Prioritize self-care
Taking care of yourself is especially crucial in this life stage. When we take care of ourselves, we can better take care of the family; when the family is cared for, the universe is better for it. Taking care of yourself—mind, body, and spirit—is the best thing we can do for our families.
I’ve created my self-care plan as a focus that I return to each week as a reminder and a plan forward that includes the list of foods I want to eat more of, a commitment to increasing the number of steps I’m taking each week, and a commitment to journal and meditate each morning to help me become more aware of myself and what I want.
Give yourself permission to explore
In your prime-time season, there is so much available to you. Consider rediscovering old passions or cultivating new interests. Whether it’s revisiting a childhood dream—like I am doing with horseback riding—or trying something completely out of your comfort zone, allow yourself the freedom to explore.
A smart place to start? Make a list of the 20 things you’ve always loved doing, but perhaps haven’t done in a long time or only dreamed of. Ask yourself, what’s stopping me?
Define your dreams
What does this season of life mean to you? Whether it's writing a book, launching a new passion project, learning a new language, committing to philanthropy, selling or buying a business, or simply increasing your daily steps, now is the time to pursue those dreams. You get to decide what this time means to you and what it will look like because of it.
Everything in your life was impossible before you made it possible. Consider writing a list of 10 feelings that you want to feel in this season of life. Look back on your answers to The 10s Exercise to see when you’ve felt those feelings before. Then imagine what you would be doing in this season to feel them again. Also—and even more important in this prime-time season—decide on the feelings you want to let go! Lastly, ask yourself: what would need to be true for me to realize my dreams?
“Let's stop settling for less and believing that it’s downhill from here. Midlife is your prime.”
Let’s stop settling for less and believing that it’s downhill from here. Midlife is your prime. With so much love, wisdom, and fun to offer the world, you have everything inside of you to make this the best season of your life.
After working for media brands, including Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, where she was a Publisher, and Fast Company, Christina Langon now helps leaders and businesses achieve more than they thought possible. A diagnosis of AML Leukemia in 2019 led Christina to decide to let go of the debilitating "should have, would have, could have" mindset and start owning her success with her vision for living her extraordinary life. Follow her on Instagram.
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